Does he understand that what he did has major racist undertones? NTA but for the love of god do not marry this person, holy shit. i think printing it is illegal, The NFT isn't the picture, it's just the thing that says you own the picture. Not necessarily to be malicious to OP (from OP's story they seemed mostly baffled and against her partners actions) but moreso because every family has that one person who has done something so outrageous that it is talked about at every family gathering for the rest of time. NTA. If he can't agree or continues acting this way despite therapy THEN consider leaving him. Like, what redeeming qualities does he possess? At his age this is a permanent character trait and honestly I cant imagine spending my life with someone who would bully a child out of a Christmas gift. And who he is is a manipulative thief. I called my mom and I found out that they didn't actually exchange gifts. Intelligent, but not the most socially aware to put it politely. And I also want to be clear that physical abuse is never ever acceptable and those parties should always be helped to leave ASAP, even after a single instance or threat. No. Lets break this down here: That was possibly the worst gift I have heard of. You can get your entire family xbox's with that money! For real.. if your fianc wants an Xbox he needs to get a job and buy one himself. NTA he has shown you that when things get tough, he only thinks of himself. essentially stealing a gift off of a child. Like bitcoin, so it uses way more energy for a single purchase than a regular house uses in a year. The fact that he can justify doing that to your sick brother should be reason enough to kick him out, INFO: Did he ask for anything specific, or was it "Meh, surprise me? Your fiance will appreciate this gift each morning when you enjoy coffee together. There are platforms set up to make it easier for end-users to buy and sell NFTs, and browse NFTs that are for sale. Investing in our future always a red flag when someone buys an expensive gift but it isnt even yours. NTA and please rethink staying with him. He was too cunning and sneaky to pull his despicable plan through. Is this what this sub is now? He will probably be out of a job at some other point, or money will be tight for some reason, and you already know what his reaction will be. There is no excuse for that. You should break up with your loser fianc that steals from your sick bro and manipulates you and your family. He only thinks of himself! So many people are buying those stupid things it's insane. Youre NTA, but your fianc very much is. Wow! Then gets pissy when called out. Please don't tell me you still want to marry this dude? Exactly - my first thought was that it was an NFT. Or that he wants to? But not all lying is not gaslighting. How uncomfortable and awful. Who was the artist, are people really thinking itll go up or be sold for more?? He calls you materialistic but while defending an Investment.. so, just wondering, was he dropped on his head as a baby like about a dozen times or more? My fianc argued when I took it and said that I was pressuring him and treating him poorly and have no respect for his feelings. Drop thr fiance since he doesn't seem to respect you or your family. It never was. Period. NTA and I'm hoping it's ex-fiance by now, jeez My husband has given me questionable gifts over the years, but a juice extractor has nothing on this. What he did is so unbelievably pathetic and weak I couldn't stomach having him around me or my brother ever again. I can't even begin to fathom his thought process. NTA but I gotta call bullshit on this story because the new Xbox is way more than $300 and I don't believe someone stole a last gen console. How you haven't invested a whole bunch into this dude. OP should require that the fianc gets therapy at a minimum if she does stay. I know break up with them is an all too common reaction in this sub but it might apply here. A MONKEY THAT IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE YOU? For more information, please see our Find someone who would appreciate it and trade itfor a pen. It's literally so much. That does not excuse behaviors like yelling/crying during arguments or the silent treatment (all of which could be considered red flags for abuse), but they can be explanations. So basically a shitty useless gift that is also harmful to the planet. I really cannot get over how many steps were involved in his doing something so shitty to an especially deserving and vulnerable family member on a holiday. Yep, pressuring a 16 year old is freaking awful. Like holy fuck that is dense. I looked and thought I was going to see a track . His lack of empathy was responsible for his poor choices, but when you didn't react the way he expected, did he examine himself? You have a lot to think about here. The gift has to have a positive meaning to the person receiving it. NTA but Id say thats definitely a deal breaker. Maya Angelou "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.". So now you know what he's like when the chips are down. i dont think you can see or touch it. I've seen this happen in the past. Even his own brothers were taken aback by what a selfish, crass, insensitive non-gift this was. I have loads of family there too. He didn't even buy YOU a gift, since he said it was an investment. Come on what even is this? NTA but OP, now that you've seen his true colors, is this really someone you want to be tethered to for the rest of your life? It would still be wrong because this is something he should discuss with her instead just taking the xbox from her brother. If he is going to be a good partner for a black woman he needs to be better than this. That is life changing money to some, if not most, people. You're still committed to a person who would steal from your family and gaslight you. Yeah, anyone can be lovely when everything is going well, but you get see their true nature when you see how they deal with tough times. like did he already have an xbox? I've never been on reddit before, so fair warning if I mess something up. You can spend more than that on dinner at a restaurant. Im not really knowledgable about this topic in generall, but how in the world is 8k for a picture of a monkey that is supposed to look like you (which is pretty racist if you ask me) an investment for the future? When this bride to be is livid with her fiance, she asks Reddit: "AITA for exposing my fiance after he lied about the gift I got him for his birthday?" My, F24, fiance M25 comes from a wealthy family, unlike me. Thats before we get to the wash trading/ponzi scheme part. Did the job loss kick off some sort of mental health issue that skews his understanding of what happened here? He did end up getting me a make-up gift. Jane Gooddall? Now let's think about how a well adjusted person in this situatuon would act. You dont give that to ANYBODY. Sometimes you can get pens to work again by pulling them right to left on the paper a few times, to pull the ball back out of where you inevitably jammed it! Its actually pretty dark and depressing so let me just sum up by saying dont date comedians (I am one too for the record lol). Don't marry him. I married a guy like this. He asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted a popular fuzzy bag that was making the rounds on social media. I'm not so sure about this being unfair. Info: what kind of future do you expect with someone like that? closes book like thats ever gonna happen, Exactly, I very recently got diagnosed with a chronic illness and Im 17 going on 18, Im lucky i dont have to spend much time in the hospital but you definitely rely on things to pick you up, and distract you from the illness; I.e an Xbox would definitely take his mind off his illness for at least a little while, a pen on the other hand, wouldnt. When his own family gets it, but he doesn't? Hooooly crap. Throw the whole fianc away. If you can't see the fiance has issues, you have bigger problems than the xbox. It would still be wrong to take the xbox, give it back to his fianc and tell her to return it because he is literally losing sleep at night because he is so worried about paying rent for the next month. Life is full of ups and downs, is this really the person you want to be with when things go poorly, OP? I cannot imagine, as POC, having to receive that gift from your fiance and then have laughter as well as disbelief surrounding you as you try to process this gift. Not just any child but a sick child. Do not marry him. Like, I personally have mental health issues, Ive been furloughed for a year when work is my life thing and my main social outlet cannabis is basically a food group in my life, a lot of my friends and my parents friends have died recently, I have the autism, and Im American so no help is coming. I agree except for the couples counseling. What has your fianc been doing with his spare time these days while youre at work? I disagree. NTA if you leave this AH before you get married and notice he acts like this more often, but feel too far in to dump him. This. But My fianc is currently looking for a new job. I had to read your post twice to make sure I was reading it correctly. NTA, he stole from your sick brother. I'm using a throwaway account because I'm embarrassed having to ask this question to begin with, so I'm going to leave some things vague on purpose. Rather than coming to terms with how terrible it was he is sticking to his guns thinking that you're the bad guy for taking your gift back to your sick brother. Especially in connection with the man you supposedly love and want to marry. His own family thought it must be a joke, I honestly think they knew what he was doing half way through which is why it was so uncomfortable. Shop Now READ MORE: 50 Cute Christmas Gifts for Couples 13. Wtf? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Not saying fiance isn't a huge pile of trash, but we don't know the circumstances here and there's no real evidence to suggest he was fired for his behaviour vs unfortunate circumstances. this would absolutely be my deal breaker. Please figure out how to get him out of your life forthwith. (Not even a sold-out resold PS5?) Completely ignored your direct request of a gift If my brother did this to my husband, we wouldnt be on talking terms. Eversince he lost his job he's been behaving strangely. EDIT: And to be clear, it sucks that he's lost his job, but he has family, a fiance, food, clothes, a roof over his headhe isn't at rock bottom. Selfishness on this level is just beyond unacceptable. This hurt my brain lol But thanks for the link. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. you) a picture of a monkey. I'm betting fiance took his role as "provider and breadwinner" very seriously and had too much of his identity wrapped up in his job. Yeah NTA. Also dump him. I dont think (really hope) they werent laughing at you. Don't give the ring back. What a creep. This is HORRIFIC! This is not a rhetorical question. Ape and monkey have long been insults for black people. OK so let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt, has he owned up to being a dick? this is him too. This is a VERY white tech bro thing to do. But you would be if you actually marry someone like this who clearly has no issue taking advantage of and robbing your family members. Yes, hes being an ass. He consistently expressed entitlement. And changes like this warrants a medical check. I wonder this all the time on here. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. But why tf would he delete the wallet and throw away 8k?? He knew he was wrong and tried to manipulate you. He literally stole from your sick teenage brother. Hope your brother is alright, OP. That man has more red flags than 1920s Moscow. NTA: I'd want to find out what your fianc exactly said to initiate this transaction - I would wonder if he said you had anything to do with it. NTA, regardless of what the gift would have been, it was for himself. We couldnt even stand to be in the same room. And no, couple therapy, communication and long talk is not a solution for something so vile. I've never been on reddit before, so fair warning if I mess something up. If you bully someone into giving you their lunch money, youre bullying them AND stealing from them. Im so sorry hes so clueless and obtuse. And the fianc, too. NTA - But on a more positive sidenote, you sound like a wonderful sister :)). All of your feelings are true and justified. Oh yeah its making you know he isnt the one to waste your time on, Except his own family pointed out it was racist and instead of even considering the possibility he just doubled down and got mad at everyone, which is, imo, way worse than a clueless insensitive gift. This is what I was wondering. Seriously - pressuring a sick kid into trading gifts just isnt right. This man needs to learn compassion, respect, and boundaries. Yeah the usual thing with these "NFT collections" is that there are a bunch of different components drawn in advance different hats, different shirts, different glasses, different eyebrows, etc. I hope you see this, OP. Another funny part of the whole thing, tether is basically a digital stable coin, roughly 1 for $1. He acted like a spoiled, ungrateful jackass. Id be reconsidering whether I want to marry him. I disagree. Pressuring someone to give up their gift makes him an asshole. For whatever reason, your fianc felt neglected this Christmas. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. If this NFT was a bored yacht ape club nft then the minimum value for one is $250k now! This thought process and behaviour leaks into everything else. Going from comment to comment the more I find out about this guy the worse he becomes. It all started to go downhill rapidly for me when he was complaining about his Christmas gifts in front of her family. He's THIRTY ffs, the economy might be a blasted hellscape but that is NO excuse. But my guess is that's why he was accusing you of not caring about his feelings. How entitled is he? Your reaction is totally inconsequential compared to the fact that your fiance gave you a gift that is, as another poster pointed out, racism 101. Too bad. What the fuck, your finance scammed a child? Throw him back! OP is NTA, and I'd be seriously reconsidering getting married to him. Anyone else, it would be insulting. I was asleep when he came back. Which. So right handed people exert a "downward" force on the ball and the ink, whereas lefties exert an "upward" force on the ball and ink. I've also seen that Bored Apes cost a lot more - we're going around $200k for one now. I don't know if you'd like to be married to a racist and someone who won't admit that they did something incredibly vile. He lost his job. But if it really is a radical swing in behavior, I wonder if the job loss and this both have a common external or medical cause. I'm using a throwaway account because I'm embarrassed having to ask this question to begin with, so I'm going to leave some things vague on purpose. Is that someone you want as your teammate for life? I was livid and so mad I told him to take the Xbox back to my brother but he said it was between him and my brother but I insisted. Yeah this is probably the behavior that he lets loose at work and cant compartmentalize it now. Please. Absolutely speechless. NTA obviously. Your white partner bought you a monkey picture for Christmas you may need a wrench for your bed, OP. NTA but you shouldn't tether yourself to this person, and you'll be being an asshole to yourself if you do.